The friend-I’ll call him Mark-carried me, passed out, into his basement room and raped me. When a stranger tried to sexually assault me, I fought him off, but when friends raped me, I froze. Each time I was raped, I knew the perpetrator. Sometimes, that reaction may even seem unusual. Not surprisingly, a woman reacts differently during and after a sexual assault perpetrated by an acquaintance, a friend, a colleague, a boss, or a family member than she would to one perpetrated by a stranger. According to RAINN, eight out of 10 rapes are committed by someone the victim knows. I don’t want this person who sexually assaulted me to ruin my friendships or put my job in jeopardy,” she explained. “Most individuals think, I can put it behind me I can move on with my life and forget about what happened to me. However, as the forensic psychiatrist Barbara Ziv testified for the prosecution, sexual-assault victims “almost always” return to their assailants. In a statement to the judge, the defense described the exchanges as “so unlike what one would expect to be communications between a true rape victim and her alleged rapist.” Two years after the attack, Haley signed an email to him “Lots of Love.” She also texted him: “Hi! Just wondering if u have any news on whether Harvey will have time to see me before he leaves? X Miriam.” Mann also sent messages to Weinstein, such as, “I appreciate all you do for me.” His attorneys held up each message as if it undoubtedly proved his innocence. His attorneys fished through email and text messages between Weinstein and the women, dredging up supposedly compromising exchanges. He now faces a prison sentence of five to 29 years.īarabara Bradley Hagerty: The Weinstein verdict shows why rape convictions are so rareĭuring the trial, Weinstein’s defense built most of its case around the fact that Haley and Mann maintained contact with the producer after he raped them. Yesterday, the jury found Weinstein guilty of a felony sex crime and rape in the third degree. (New York’s statute of limitations bars most of the women from pressing charges.) Haley says he raped her in 2006 Mann says he raped her twice in 2013. So many of us berate ourselves over the question “Why did I not have the right response?”Įven though more than 90 women have publicly said that Weinstein sexually harassed and abused them, he stood trial in New York for allegedly raping only two women: Miriam Haley, a former production assistant, and Jessica Mann, an aspiring actor. Most sexual-assault victims don’t report their perpetrators-I didn’t-so the myriad ways that women respond are not usually made public. “A true rape victim,” they said, certainly wouldn’t continue speaking with her rapist. When people ask me why I never reported my rapists, I reply: “It was just easiest for me to pretend it didn’t happen,” “I didn’t want to be a victim,” “I was embarrassed,” “I was scared.” These same explanations appear in the testimonies of the women who say that the disgraced movie producer Harvey Weinstein sexually assaulted them.Īs I read the coverage of Weinstein’s trial, I saw how his defense attorneys perpetuated common misconceptions about how women should respond to assault.
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